If you all still do not know, I've long since moved to scrawled-memories.blogspot.com (:

Is it alright to say what I feel and stop pretending? Is it alright if I stop hiding and lying through my teeth? Is it alright if I just be me?

I want to be truthful, but I'm always so afraid of the consequences, of what others will say. But then again, at times my thoughts just hold me back, they just eat me up. I hate my thoughts, but sometimes I just get the feeling that what I think is correct, that the truth is not too far from what I think, that maybe I am nothing short of a nuisance.

Maybe I should disconnect myself? Maybe I should pull away, before it's too late? Maybe I should stop my wishful thinking and just leave?

I hate my thoughts, because at times I'd much rather die than have to think again...

It's not that I want to be sad, it's not that I want to be down, because honestly, who wants to be upset? I try again and again to be happy and cheerful but reality always sets in and I'm left the loser with the stupid fake grin on her face.

I'm sick of it.

Sometimes I just wish that I could blow my brains out so that I can hear nothing but sweet, pure silence again...

Knowing me I'll just shift this post else where later since I'm nothing but a coward, afraid to let people see what I really think...

I wish someone would just tell me that it's alright to be me, that it will be alright if I stayed...

Just look and be amazed that I PASSED! HAHAHA!!!!! :D

Yesterday was, without a doubt, the most awesome, super duper, fun Sunday I've had in ages! Ok maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but who cares! It was still damn awesome!

PC celebrated post-Journey together at Changi Beach Club's Seafood Restaurant, and the food was great! The only thing that marred it's perfection was the bill (YIKES!) and this creepy waiter/supervisor that kept glaring our way. Bleah... But the food was cool! Let me try and remember the courses...

Salad (Lettuce, Cabbage, Mayo and Peanuts)
Starter Platter (*NOT Deep Fried): Fish and Chicken Floss, Tofu, Silver Fish, *Egg, *Jellyfish
Seafood Tofu Soup(?)
Claypot Chicken
One HUGE Fried Fish
Mushroom and Broccoli
Fried Rice with Prawns and Spring Onion
LARGE Tiger Prawns
Mango Sago

Cool right? Damn nice please! (:

Then after that, bill had to be settled, which was like a major OUCH! It was $773! Didn't expect it to be that costly! Then I had to call Dad to get the bill settled since it would be billed under his account. I had to get him to talk to the guy in black after which the guy said sorry. Haha... Funny, cause I don't see why he should say sorry, aside from the fact that he kept glaring at us. Oh well...

After that some of us went off to watch Wall-E which is superb! I give it a 7.8 out of 10 for it's killer graphics and cute robot love. (:

Went over to Gab Pat's house to see his dog Summer after that before hanging with the others for a while BEFORE FINALLY departing for home. Yup...

So I was out for like 13 hours in total. PC, I love you! All members are super huggable!

OH! And I bumped into Eric at the Cinema too. LOL! (:

Finally, an ALMOST proper update after like half a week! Hahaha... Right, anyways, according to my sidebar countdown, it's 4 hours and 52 minutes till the stupid Computer Systems paper. Bleah, I hate Computer Systems! Can't wait to get this over with! Then it's time to maple with my old darlings, hohoho... ^^ v

I know, I know, I'm supposed to be mugging, but I don't want to anymore. Hmmmph! But what choice do I have? I don't want to have to take the supp. paper OR retake Computer Systems, because there's no way I'm going to stay back with *AHEM*. Heh heh... Ok that was mean, but whatever. (:

Personally, I think that this is the only paper I'm in danger of flunking, seriously, 'cause I think the project is screwed (no offense) and my term test is like totally a big red F. GAH!!!! RACHEL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! MUG MUG MUG!

But first, I want to blog. Heh heh... :3

Anyways, I'll be returning to MapleSEA to play with my old friends. Call it childish or whatever you want, but I'll still love it. And to think, I used to mock it! Hahaha! Eridanus! Here I come!!!! Time to say bye bye to Delphinus! Ok, maybe not totally goodbye, just little bit. Hoho... (:

Ok, heres what I think I'll get for my final grades, thinking realistically (?) of course. ;3

CMSY: C or D
PRSP: C or D
Vis Lit: B or C
APEL: B or C
WDS: B+ or B
CMSK: B
C Maths: B or C

Ew, yucky marks, but that's what I honestly think I'll score. Oh wells... T___T

GAH! 4 HOURS 40 MINUTES TILL THE PAPER! MUG!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Plan for Tomorrow:
5.30am - WAKE UP and Get Ready
6.15am - Leave for School
7.15am - Reach School and Carry On Mugging

9.15am - Stop Mugging to Rest Brain (?)
9.30am - Start of the Exam

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

It's hard to believe that my Sunday passed so quickly with me having done nothing much productive. I feel like today was quite a waste, but at least I got to rest. (:

I had to read for 7.30am mass today, and I kind of tripped three times during the reading. Bleah... Never mind, this just tells me that I need a whole lot more practice if I want to be a better lector. Yup...

In the afternoon, mum and I went out with the folks to IKEA in Tampines. I know I take the bus to school almost everyday, but somehow, I managed to forget how close IKEA is to home compared to school. Hahaha...

Strolled around with Kristle and bounced on a few beds and couches, it's damn fun please. (:

Then after that had the oh-so-famous Swedish meatballs. Still don't understand why they combined jam and meat balls though. Hmmm... Strange eh? Oh well, different culture, different things I guess. (:

I managed to finally get my hands on these three plastic boxes (Pink, Yellow, White) that I've been dying to get since Secondary school, 'cause seriously, they look so cool! I'm going to use them to store some of my stars, my future NICE colour pencils, and perhaps use the last one as a literal pencil box. Hahaha... xD

I managed to find the glass bottle I wanted, but instead of getting that, I chose to get a REALLY BIG glass jar because it's just so awesome! This is really going to motivate me to keep folding till next year because by then, it'd definitely be filled to the brim with my many straw stars. Now the next question is WHERE to get those lovely multi-coloured stars. Hmmm...

Lastly, I got one last thing, a TABLE! Not just any old table, but a nice SMALL computer table that you can ROLL around! And it was super cheap, only $79! Awesome bargain of the day! Now I can finally have a proper table to do my work instead of using that stupid mahjong table. Wheeeeee!!!! xD

Anyways, I played a lot of "The Godfather" recently. Think I'm addicted to it. Hahaha! But it doesn't really matter 'cause I think I'll finish the game in at least a few more hours. Hohoho... All hail Rachel! The NEW DON of NYC! In my game only of course. (;

Ok, nothing much to blog about, so I guess it's time to just turn on the telly and watch some Ed, Edd n' Eddy!

Au revoir! <3

Edit: I can't believe I accidentally posted this in the class blog! GAH! I REALLY hope nobody saw that! X___x"

Just for the fun of it, I'm going to blog about the seven things others may not know about me. I don't care if I'm laughed at or anything, 'cause it's just me being honest. (:

And why seven? Well, it's because I was listening to a song called "7 things" by Miley Cyrus. Hahaha... xD

The 7 Things You May Not Know About Me

Number ONE:
Honestly, I think that Digimon is still one of the coolest animes with all the imaginative graphics and all that. I mean, come on, cute little things that look more like stuffed toys that can morph into super powerful monsters? It's still SO AWESOME in my eyes. Laugh all you want, but I don't care. Digital Monsters all the way!!!! Wahahaha! (:

Number TWO:
Despite being a little more than sixteen, I'm still afraid of the dark, ESPECIALLY after a reeeaaaally creepy horror movie. Yes, I am afraid of things that go bump in the night, even in my home, especially after dreaming that my own home was haunted, not just once, but THRICE! GAH! At least the nightmares were all different, because if they were the same, I'd REALLY be freaked out! YIKERS! T__T

Number THREE:
When I was working in a certain tuition center during the holidays, I kinda dropped my boss's Blackberry. (A Blackberry is a PDA phone, for those that have no clue what that is.) I was tidying a pile of papers on the table, and was shuffling them, not knowing that the Blackberry was on the top of the pile! So next thing I knew it, it just crashed onto the parquet floor. I was like, "OMG!" for a moment before I put it quietly back without anyone noticing. Up till now, my boss doesn't know I dropped it. But at least it was alright? Ok, maybe not, because it kind of went wonky two weeks later... Oops... X__x"

Number FOUR:
I'm afraid of Hotels, yes, hotels. Whenever at a hotel, I always force my mum to leave the lights on throughout the night. I can't really help it, I'm paranoid, especially having two not so nice occurrences happen in a hotel. So basically, I hate hotels, home is the best place, full stop. :p

Number FIVE:
I secretly wish that I had a Nitendo DS so that I can play the latest Pokemon games. Heh heh... First Digimon, now Pokemon? Yup, I love them both, heck, I can still remember all 151 Pokemon from the first season. (Kanto region, was it? Hmmm...) But I prefer the games to watching the show, less tedious. Hahaha... I can still remember the versions I've played. Yellow, Blue, Red, Crystal, Silver, Sapphire and Fire Red. Hohoho... Yup, I own ALL of the above stated versions. (;

Number SIX:
I like the show Hannah Montana! YES! I'm still a kid at heart, got a problem with that? Haha... I mean come on, great vocals, great cast, and it's on DISNEY! What other reason do I need? Oh, and the soundtrack is totally awesome, since I'm still into tween and teen pop. ^^ v

Number SEVEN:
I prefer breakfast foods more than lunch food. Super random but oh so true. I'd pick cereal and milk over rice any day! Hahaha... :D

So have you read anything new about me? I bet you've learned at least one new thing about me, right? LoL (:

Adios amigos! X3

For many years
You’ve been with me,
Through thick and thin,
With me you’ve seen.

Seen the cruelty of it all,
Seen me masquerading
As if at a ball,
Felt the insults thrown my way,
Kept me smiling through the day.

But now I know,
I’ve neglected you too long,
I’ve left you in a corner
Leaning against the wall.

Because of this,
The price I pay,
Is greater than anything
Anyone could lay.

Like a slap in the face,
When I realise you’re gone,
It’s too late to reconcile
What has been lost.

My old friend,
I need you,
But what can I do?
It’s hard to replace
Something as precious as you.

You were there to hide
The tears and the pain,
You were there to put
That fake smile on my face.

You were there when
No one else was,
You were there through my
Everything and all.

With a thousand regrets,
And a futile wish you’d return,
I say goodbye to you,
My old mask through the years.

Finally, I'm done with Vis Lit. Stupid soft pastels... It now looks utterly crappy. Urgh...

I best go to bed though, or else I'll be too tired tomorrow 'cause I'm not that used to sleeping this late again. Haha...

GAH! I HATE COLOURING!!!!! T___T

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I'm STILL doing my Vis Lit, and I think it's absolute crap. I hate colouring... T___T

Tomorrow I still have to go collect my testimonial from SJC, but before that I need to do more irritating things for that stupid portfolio.

RAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Know what? I think that the happiness of others are more important than my own.

Want to know why?

It's because if I want to achieve my own happiness, it would be a very selfish move, but if I strive to make others happy, it would be better because simply, if one person is unhappy, but two are happy, then that's great! It's simple mathematics! Think about it this way, it's better to have more happy people than those who are sad, right?

So, yes! Dead ringer! I'll try that and see the outcome of it. Though it will hurt like hell, but who cares? Happiness is happiness, it doesn't matter if it's not mine, it's STILL happiness.

Tell me I'm right, because I know I am. (:

Thank you all so much and I'm sorry for troubling you guys...

Haiz...

I really do try not to be all "emo" and down, but sometimes I just can't help it. I guess there's no one I can blame but myself for my thoughtlessness.

Damn myself to the deepest regions of this Earth.

UPDATE! UPDATE! YES! Question two is DONE! OH MAH GEE!!!!!

Now, as Chun Chee says, welcome to hell... Why?

Because Question 3 and 4 are to "DIE" for.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D:

PRSP Java Assignment II update! I FINALLY, after 30 minutes, COMPLETED part B of question Numero Uno! Which just leaves me 3 more question.

.......

Fudge...

Can I kill someone? (:

Ok, I arrived more than half an hour ago, so now, I guess it's time to start cracking on Java. Bleah...

import java.util.Scanner;

public class STARTWORK {
public static void main(String[] args){
Scanner sc = new Scanner(System.in);

System.out.println("WORK! RARRRRR!!!!!!");

}
}

//The above code actually works! HAHA! BAH! RACHEL! CONCENTRATE!!!!!

BAH! I just realised, I can never do good work when I'm at home 'cause I would be in an all out SLACK mode, so what's my solution?

Tomorrow, I'm going to go to school early to work on my Java, right after I collect my testimonial from my secondary school. So... Hmmm...

7.00am - Wake up
7.30am - Shower
8.00am - Leave
8.30am - Reach SJC
9.00am - Leave SJC
10.30am - Reach TP AND DO JAVA! RAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!
2.00pm - Have CMSY Lecture

And so on and so forth... Hmmm...

Time for CMATHS! (:

Bah! Change in tomorrow's plans...

5.45am - WAKE UP AND SHOWER
6.30am - Leave for School
7.45am - Reach School and Start Cracking my Brains
9.00am - KP Arrives (?)
11.00am - Val Arrives (?)
2.00pm - CMSY Lecture

And so on and so forth.

CMATHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Web design is finally over! YES! O MAH GEE! YEAH! GROOVY BABY! <3

So what's left? Still a whole lotta stuff that's needs a whole lotta attention and a whole lotta time. Urgh... CONSTANT VIGILANCE! That's what Mad Eye Moody said... You know? Mad Eye Moody? From Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?

..........

Bah... Never mind...

Yep, so right now I'm doing nothing, just waiting for my dinner, so to spend my time, I'm just gonna blog. Hmmm... Ahhh... Ohh... Damn, I love randomness, 'cause where's the fun in life if every thing's just so much like a routine, yeah? Mmm hmmm...

So later I'm going to work on my PRSP (JAVA), which I absolutely abhor. Gah, Java, the one inanimate thing I cannot stand, blah...

Boredom kills. Trust me because right now, it's killing me. (: